The Backstory
At 53 Elcindor had been single his entire life and this crushed his self-esteem:

“I've never had a serious relationship and that fact coupled with my age causes some doubt. My life is otherwise mostly fine. If there is a big missing piece to the puzzle of creating my best life, it's related to this area. I’d say there are two problems. First, as I've gotten older it's harder to meet available guys. Second, actually getting beyond a few dates with the same person.”

Frustrated with short-lived connections, he hired me as his dating coach.

The Love Blocks
Together we identified his biggest relationship readiness gaps: having realistic expectations about compatibility and low self-confidence.

“At this point I have very little confidence in this area. That shows up from start to finish. I'm not sure of myself in the initial phases and if we get beyond a few dates the lack of confidence still shows up. I perceive myself as more sapiosexual and demisexual. I think this has always been truest about me but was easier to push past or mask when I was younger. The top/bottom question is also usually a speed bump. I feel like when I'm being myself things fade shortly thereafter. That feeds the lack of confidence and feeling undateable or undesirable... or that I have a pattern for sabotaging things that I don't see, which also feeds the lack of confidence.”

The Breakthrough

Many daters can’t tell whether a romantic issue is due to true incompatibility or their own dating skill gaps. Here’s a rule of thumb: one off experiences are usually situational. But if you notice a pattern (the same issue keeps popping up in different situations) it’s usually your pattern and is likely the result of a skill gap. You can’t change patterns you don’t take responsibility for. And you can’t take responsibility for patterns you don’t recognize.

To address Elcindor's skill gaps, we first identified the key patterns that were sabotaging his romantic results and implemented strategies to neutralize them. We refined his expectations, clarified what he actually needed in a compatible partner, and significantly increased his romantic self awareness. I also showed him how to lead with the qualities he thought people would reject him for (as it’s usually what your person will adore about you), turning the parts of himself he used to mask into the very criteria that would help him find the right match.

The Bond
And now, as a result of all his hard work, I’m happy to share that Elcindor is in his first official relationship ever! He and his partner, Darren, made things official in September 2024 and now the couple live in Spain!

“It feels ridiculously grown up and adult right now, along with feeling sexy and playful. That’s pretty much what I asked for in a nutshell. Life is good!”

Is Your Love Story Next?

If you’re ready to master your romantic magic, the next step is to schedule a 1-on-1 consultation with me.

During our session, we’ll assess your relationship goals, identify your dating strengths & skill gaps, and create a customized plan to develop your skills to lasting love levels within the next 3-12 months.

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Amari Ice is a gay love coach, matchmaker, and master hypnotist who helps successful singles master their romantic magic by developing their dating skills and becoming their own matchmakers so that love becomes inevitable. Take the free Dating Skills Quiz to discover your dating skill level.