Dating KPIs: 3 Keys to Relationship Success
If you have experience in any sort of corporate situation, you’ve probably heard of KPIs. The acronym stands for key performance indicators. Key performance indicators let us know when we’re on the right track toward meeting our business goals. Similarly, dating KPIs indicate when we’re on track for meeting our relationship goals.
When it comes to love, some see it as a perspective, some consider it to be an emotion, and others see it as an action. But, ultimately, love is something we experience in our own minds.
With dating KPIs, each letter relates to a distinct part of the mind that impacts our experience of love in a different way.
Let’s explore the three parts of the dating KPIs.
K is for Romantic Knowledge
In terms of relationships, the K in KPI is your romantic knowledge, which resides in the conscious mind (the thinking/cognitive part of the mind). The conscious mind governs what we know or don’t know.
In addition to knowledge, this part is also responsible for your intelligence, skills, experience, learned behaviors, and conditioned habits. Usually we measure the conscious with mind with intelligence assessments, like IQ tests, degrees, and certifications.
P is for Relationship Preferences
The P in KPI is your romantic preferences, which reside in the subconscious mind (the emotional/affective part of the mind). The subconscious mind governs what we like/want or don’t like/want.
In addition to preferences, this part houses your personality, motivation, values, interests, and desires. Usually we measure the subconscious mind with character assessments, like personality tests and emotional intelligence.
I is for Dating Instincts
The I in KPI is your romantic instincts, which reside in the unconscious mind (the doing/conative part of the mind). The unconscious mind governs what we will or won’t do when we’re free to be ourselves.
In addition to instincts, this part houses your talents, drive, mental energy, primal needs, and innate tendencies for action. Usually we measure the unconscious mind with conative assessments, like the Kolbe A Index (which measures how you naturally operate when free to be yourself).
How the Mind Parts Interact
Sometimes, these three parts of the mind work together. But other times, the different parts of our mind can contradict each other:
We can know how to do something (conscious mind), but not want to do it (subconscious mind). For example, we can know how to use dating apps to meet people, but not want to use them.
We can want to do something (subconscious mind), but not know how to do it (conscious mind). For example, we can want to be in a healthy relationship, but our dating skills may not be developed enough to achieve it.
We can learn to do something (conscious mind) that we just don’t have sustainable energy to implement (unconscious mind). For example, we can learn to ask a lot of great questions when we first meet someone, even if it exhausts us.
As we seek to move into a relationship with someone, we can apply this big-picture understanding of the different parts of the mind to help us assess intellectual, emotional, and operational compatibility—but only after understanding our own minds.
If you want to know more about the dating KPIs, check out following resources for exploring each part of the mind and how they work together:
Assess Your Romantic Knowledge – The primary reason anybody is single, or will soon be single again, is because they're trying to have a Level 25 relationship with Level 3 dating skills. My free Dating Skills Quiz identifies your estimated dating skill level and tells you what you need to do to level-up your love life.
Clarify Your Relationship Preferences – What type of personality is the best for you? Take the Love Alchemy Personality Test to find out your elemental type and your best energetic match.
Identify Your Dating Instincts – The biggest cause of most relationships failure is not money or infidelity—it’s the frustration we experience as a result of our unmet unrealistic expectations about the way we or our partners should do things. The Kolbe Index measures our achievement instincts: our innate patterns for problem-solving, creativity, and striving to accomplish any task or goal, including finding and keeping a relationship. Access the Kolbe Index at 20% off.
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Amari Ice is a relationship coach, matchmaker, and hypnotherapist who helps gay men master their romantic magic by developing their dating skills, healing subconscious patterns of self-sabotage, and enhancing their romantic magnetism so that love becomes inevitable. Take the free Dating Skills Quiz to discover your dating skill level.