Are You a Competent Dater?
Your overall level of dating competence is measured through four distinct domains: MindSet, HeartSet, ConfidenceSet, and HabitSet.
Your competence within these domains allows you, as a dater, to perform certain abilities with ease.
Let's explore how each domain applies to your romantic life.
The MindSet Domain
Your MindSet consists of your romantic IQ—the knowledge, beliefs, and attitudes necessary to achieve your relationship goals.
Your MindSet is also analogous to your identity, because the way you see yourself determines what you give yourself permission to be, do, have, and experience. In other words, your identity is the template for everything you manifest.
MindSet competence includes abilities like communicating effectively, quantifying your romantic needs, and qualifying whether a potential partner has the capacity to meet those needs.
The HeartSet Domain
Your HeartSet determines your level of emotional ease or resistance toward taking the actions needed to achieve and sustain your relationship goals.
Your HeartSet consists of the emotional awareness, availability, and processing capacity required to handle the realities of an intimate partnership.
HeartSet competence includes abilities like healing from previous relationship wounds, identifying and validating your emotional needs, and navigating through your fears.
The ConfidenceSet Domain
Your ConfidenceSet is the collection of instincts and practical abilities needed to implement effective romantic action.
Your ConfidenceSet directly correlates with your level of self-confidence, because our confidence is always based on the effectiveness of our actions.
ConfidenceSet competence includes abilities like trusting your dating instincts, flirting, getting dates, and navigating the romantic landscape.
The HabitSet Domain
Your HabitSet is the integration of the romantic MindSet, HeartSet, and ConfidenceSet into a lifestyle pattern that makes love inevitable and sustainable through time.
Your HabitSet is also your romantic stamina: the consistency of your presence in a relationship, or within an environment, that reinforces the MindSet, HeartSet, and ConfidenceSet necessary to produce a relationship.
HabitSet competence includes abilities like redesigning your environment and schedule to fortify your romantic intentions, as well as sustaining relationships that are steady, stable, and secure.
Internal vs. External Mastery
The MindSet and HeartSet domains refer to your level of internal mastery—your ability to manage your own inner world of desires and decisions regarding your dating life.
The ConfidenceSet and HabitSet domains refer to your level of external mastery—your ability to interact with the world around you and take action to create measurable romantic results based on your internal desires and decisions.
In order to master your romantic magic, you need both the self-awareness related to the internal domains and the self-efficacy required to thrive in the external domains.
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Amari Ice is a relationship coach, matchmaker, and hypnotherapist who helps gay men master their romantic magic by developing their dating skills, healing subconscious patterns of self-sabotage, and enhancing their romantic magnetism so that love becomes inevitable. Take the free Dating Skills Quiz to discover your dating skill level.