Derrick’s Love Story
When we started working together, Derrick (on the right) came to me and said, “Amari, where are all the good guys and how do I find the one for me? I’ve tried all the dating sites and they’re all garbage. Everybody just wants sex; nobody seems truly interested in a relationship. Should I just accept that I’ll be single forever?”
Derrick was a total catch. He was in his early 30s when we met, exceptionally handsome, a successful lawyer, and had already bought his first home. “But what’s the point of being this successful if I don’t have anyone to share it with?” he asked.
Derrick came out later in life and, before we worked together, had never been in a relationship that lasted longer than a few months. He wasn’t satisfied with the thought of growing old alone and, after unsuccessfully struggling for so long to figure it out on his own, he reached out to me for assistance.
Love isn't a fairytale—it's more like a video game: The #1 reason gay men are single is because they’re trying to have a Level 25 relationship with Level 3 skills. However, we only need to be at about Level 7 to competently and confidently enter into a healthy relationship. My average client grows by one to two dating skill levels per month, with the vast majority becoming confident, competent, love magnets in only three to six months.
This was true for Derrick too.
Derrick was a dating novice when we started working together in September of 2017 (AKA Level 1). He had very little relationship experience, wasn’t clear on what he needed in a partner, kept repeating the same self-sabotaging patterns, and wasn’t at all confident in his dating skills. Over the course of 6 months, I helped Derrick get relationship ready, set realistic expectations for partnership, neutralize the ways he kept getting in his own way, and coached him through the process. Literally less than a month afterward he started dating Vince (in April 2018).
The couple got engaged on their 5th anniversary, and tied the knot on their 6th anniversary. In Derrick’s words during the wedding reception, “I would not be the man I am today, as far as my relationship, without Amari. I took Amari’s coaching and I don’t mind telling, because sometimes we think we know what we’re doing but we keep running into walls. You gotta learn the lesson.”
Fun fact: According to the Lunch Actually Group, dating coaching increases your ability to find and keep love by at least 200–300%.
Ready to level up your love life like Derrick?
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Amari Ice is a relationship coach, matchmaker, and hypnotherapist who helps gay men develop their dating skills in order to create and sustain healthy relationships. Take the free Dating Skills Quiz to discover your dating skill level.